This is Randy. Randy is the kind of guy your mother warned you about. The one wearing the pooka shell necklace who will offer you reefer and then take you to a cruddy hotel with a vibrating bed and mix you a pitcher of Vodka Collins. He’s a bad seed, one that will ruin your reputation and make you “that kind of girl.” Beware of Randy. Especially if that top button on his jeans is undone. That’s one button on a slippery slope to certain debauchery. Listen to your mother.

Apparently a one cent bill was an actual thing in Hong Kong after WWII. They were sorely lacking in the metals needed to make coins so they issued one cent bills.  The most remarkable thing was they were in circulation until 1995. Could you imagine having a bankroll of these? You could buy a gumball with it. Except gumball machines take coins.

This is Louise. She’s the fun grandma — especially after a glass of red wine or two.  But beware, Louise can turn on a dime and curse the bloody hell out of the valet for moving the seat in her Mercedes, or make the caterer weep with her cruel and mocking commentary about the lobster bisque. The woman on Louise’s lap having her ass palmed is unidentified.