Moma at Xmas 79

There are so many amazing things about this picture that anyone born in this century probably wouldn’t understand. For instance, why does the lamp in the background look like a giant exotic nut? And what the heck is that blue glass bowl on the table? Wait, that’s an ashtray? People used to smoke indoors? And what is up with that hideous wrapping paper? And the upholstery? Surely no one thought that was attractive? What the hell were people smoking in 1979?

And I would answer, “Oh child, many, many things.”

Dear Marika,

In my husband’s family, there is this mythical housekeeper named Marika. Whenever Kosta used to leave a mess somewhere his mother would ask, “Who do you think is going to clean this up? Marika?”

I am just in awe that Marika does, in fact, exist! We need to find her. I don’t know who this “Book Sneaker” is but we need to track him down as well. Books you can wear on your feet sound like a marketable idea. I just saved the publishing industry!

Guest Check from St. George and the Dragon

St. George and the Dragon was one of those old-timey supper clubs that folks used to get dressed up to visit on a Saturday night. Dad would wear a jacket and tie, Mom would wear her pearls and heels, and they would both smoke like chimneys while eating their prime rib and listening to the crooners like Perry Como and Bing Crosby and staring at the flocked wallpaper. Little Jimmy and Sally were told good little children were seen and not heard. And for Lord’s sake, Jimmy get your finger out of your nose, are you digging for gold? And Dad will have a fifth bourbon and Mother will put her lipstick on crooked when she powders her nose, and he’ll hit the neighbor’s dog Spot on the way home and Mother will cry and say that she can’t have anything nice.

Ah, the good old days.