Maneuvering around disappointment

I’m not talking about little disappointments here, like Starbucks just sold the last lemon cake right out from under you or you killed yourself at the gym and the scale doesn’t reflect that. I mean the big ones, like you didn’t get the job you were going for or your best friend is moving across the country. How does one maneuver around a boulder that has been plopped down in the road? There are a few things I find that help that aren’t totally self-destructive.

(Note I am reminding myself of these because I just recently had a big disappointment that I am trying to get over and need some motivation. I hope it helps you too.)

  1. Allow yourself a “fuck it all” attitude for a few days. This is perfectly reasonable when you’ve had a big disappointment. Wallow in it, swim, until your fingers get all pruney, but for the love of God, don’t unpack there and set up house. You do have to regroup and move on, but allow yourself a few days indulgence to be immature.
  2. Do something nice for yourself. For me it’s getting a manicure or allowing extra time on the couch to read something and ignoring the laundry. Again, find something that is indulgent without being destructive, like not eating that gallon of ice cream and watching a guilty pleasure movie instead. For me, that would be something like Clueless or The Craft. Although I think a little ice cream is okay too. Especially mocha java chip, if you’re offering.
  3. Exercise. Okay, you can tell me to get bent on this one if you want, I understand. But when you’re frustrated, there is something very cathartic about wearing yourself out at the gym. I put some crunching rock on my playlist and give it everything I’ve got. This, by the way, also helps you sleep at night instead of lying there in bed and going over what you could have done to prevent the disappointment from happening. (Ask me how I know.)

And through it all, tell yourself to keep going. Giving up is an option, of course, but it isn’t a very fulfilling one. Getting used to disappointment just leaves you settling for less, and that’s never a good place to be. Doing the nice things for yourself helps you turn around your attitude and get you back on track. Because that is the ultimate goal after all. There are shitty parts to life. The trick is to deal with them in a constructive way to get back to where you need to be.

But (a little) ice cream doesn’t hurt.

Elly Blake: Five Questions


I am a sucker for a good fantasy. Magic, new worlds, adventure, and mystery are just the things that to me make a thrilling story.

Elly Blake’s Frostblood is a prime example of what I mean. Ruby is a Fireblood–she can control fire. But being a Fireblood is a big secret in her world. The Frostbloods, who can control ice, want to obliterate every last Fireblood and will stop at nothing to do so. When Ruby’s village is attacked she unwittingly reveals her true nature and is thrown in prison where she is tormented with buckets of ice water.

But then two Frostblood men arrive and tell her they will break her out of prison if she agrees to help them with a mission. She doesn’t trust them but is desperate to be free. She is taken to an abbey where she is healed and taught how to use her power properly, though most who know her true nature are frightened of her and the danger she represents as a fugitive.

And then there is Arcus. He is the Frostblood that freed her from prison. He hides behind a mask and is very reticent to share anything about himself other than what he expects of her. But a reluctant truce forms and they begin an unlikely friendship.

This book was so well done. The writing was outstanding and the story was well-plotted and satisfying. The sequel, Fireblood, comes out in September and I am ready for it NOW.

1. What was the original seed idea for your book? Did it start with a character, a situation, or an idea?

I started with a character — Ruby, a girl with power over fire. I actually dreamed about a girl with power over fire and a king with an icy heart. When I woke up, I knew right away that her name was Ruby. I decided to focus on frost and fire as opposing elements, and started spinning ideas from there.

2. What is your writing process? Are you an outliner or a pantser?

I’m a pantser who wants to be a plotter. I try to plot, but I find it very hard to answer questions about character and plot before I start writing. I get to know the characters as I draft. So I know a few major points before I start, but the rest is a mystery until I have that messy draft. That’s when I focus on applying structure and plotting methods– during revisions.

3. Who are the writers which most influence your writing style?

There are many writers I love, and many writers whom I envy! I often wish I could write more like my favorite authors, but I’m not sure who actually influences my style most. I think when it comes to voice, most of our influences are unconscious. We pick things up from books we enjoy and it comes out when we write. A few of my favorite authors are: Marie Rutkoski, Megan Whelan Turner, Leigh Bardugo, Kristin Cashore, Morgan Rhodes, and so many more!

4. Do you listen to music when you write?

I usually listen to soundtracks: Tron: Legacy, Pirates of the Caribbean, Game of Thrones, The Dark Knight Rises, etc.

5. What are you reading right now?

I’m reading The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas. It’s so good! I just finished Caraval by Stephanie Garber, which was a beautiful read. (I also met Stephanie recently at a signing and that was a total thrill!) Next, I plan to read The Edge of Everything by Jeff Giles. I’m in a debut group so I’m reading a lot of 2017 debut books and loving them!

Elly Blake is the NYT bestselling author of Frostblood. After earning a BA in English literature, she held a series of seemingly random jobs, including project manager, customs clerk, graphic designer, reporter for a local business magazine, and (currently) library assistant. She lives in Southwestern Ontario with her husband, kids and a Siberian Husky mix who definitely shows Frostblood tendencies.

Ready for a thrilling fantasy?  Get your copy here:

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Eileen Cook: Five Questions

with-maliceI studied abroad when I was in college, and it was the best thing that had happened to me up to that point. Living and going to school in another country takes you out of your element and exposes you to new ways of being, and for that I am forever grateful.

But what if my time abroad had ended in tragedy? What if I woke up in a hosptial and had no recollection of how I had landed there or what had happened? Eileen Cook takes a look at that very premise in her young adult thriller With Malice.

A girl wakes up and doesn’t know where she is.  At least she remembers who she is, Jill Charron, a National Merit Scholar and state debate champion. But how she woke up connected to machines and tubes, an enormous pain in her head and a broken leg, she has no idea. The last thing she remembers is being with her friends Simone and Tara. But when her parents inform her she’s been in a car accident Jill is terrified she’s going to miss her study abroad trip. That’s when the second nasty surprise comes –she’s already been, the accident had happened in Italy.

With a traumatic brain injury Jill can’t remember a thing about going to Italy, let alone the accident that put her in the hospital. What really happened? Bit by bit Jill starts to put the pieces together and finds that the truth may or may not be more than she can stomach. Who is Niccolo? And had she and her best friend Simone really been fighting over him? Was the accident all her fault?

Told with a tense plot that reveals breadcrumbs to lead us back to the real story, With Malice is a twisty, dark thriller. Not knowing who to trust, Jill needs to untangle the fact from the fiction and discover just what part she played in the tragedy, and what really happened between Niccolo, Simone, and herself.


1. What was the original seed idea for your book? Did it start with a character, a situation, or an idea?

There were a few things that came together to form the idea of this book. I’m fascinated with long-term friendships and how they survive and evolve, or don’t. I knew I wanted to write about two friends who had been in a relationship for so long that at times it was hard to tell where the good parts and the bad intersected. I’d also worked for over twenty years in the field of vocational rehabilitation assisting with people with injuries and illnesses. I’d done a lot of work with individuals with brain injury and taking the opportunity to explore identity and relationships when you can’t trust your own memory was exciting.

Once I wrote a full draft of the manuscript I knew it was missing something and two other pieces of inspiration fell into place. The first was that I was planning a trip to Italy and it occurred to me to set the book there. I did a semester abroad while in college. It was an amazing experience, but there is something very disorienting about being so far away from home and your own culture. I felt it would give Jill an extra push to explore her friendship if they were out of their current element. As I prepared for the trip I started to read more about the Amanda Knox trial and that motivated me to add the pressure coming from the media- where everyone else is deciding your guilt or innocence based on very little information.

The final bit of inspiration came from the first season of the Serial podcast by NPR. (If you haven’t listened- download it- you’ll thank me.) It’s a true crime story about a murder trial that happened in the 1990s. With each person that told their story I would shift my feelings. “He’s totally innocent! He’s guilty! Wait-he’s innocent!” I wanted to see if I could recreate that feeling for readers by providing them with new perspectives that might change how they felt about the story line.

2. What is your writing process? Are you an outliner or a pantser?

When I started writing it took me a long time to realize that what works for one writer might not work for another. I always encourage people to try different processes and see what fits their style.

What works for me is to spend time plotting and planning before starting to write. Sometimes this includes writing diary entries from different character’s point of view, making timelines, and endless lists.  I used to jump in as soon as I had an idea, but I’ve learned it’s better to let an idea ferment for a period of time.  Like wine, it gets more complex and interesting if it sits for a while.

I usually get up early and walk the dogs or go to the gym before settling in with a cup of tea and getting to work.  I’m not creative before eight in the morning or after ten at night. I usually have three or four hours of writing/creative time before my brain gives up.  I spend the rest of my day doing more business things, marketing, teaching, research etc.  Also looking at random things on the Internet, yelling at my dogs to stop digging in the yard, and drinking endless cups of tea.

3. Who are the writers which most influence your writing style?

In some ways I find this an impossible question because I am terrified I’ll leave someone out. From Judy Blume who I loved with a white hot passion growing up, to Stephen King who was one of the first to inspire me to want to be a writer. (Can you imagine two more different writers if you tried?)  With every book I read I’m interested to see how that writer chose to tell that story, the decisions they made from when to start the story, to whose perspective to how they increased the tension. I try and learn from everything I read. I don’t believe there is any one (or even two or three) writers that directly influenced my writing- it would be all of them.  One of the things that still gives me great joy is standing in a library or bookstore and being aware of just how many great books are out there to read. And writers just keep making more!

4. Do you listen to music when you write?

I love the idea of listening to music, but I find that when I do I tend to start singing along. No one wants that. I sound like someone stepping on a hamster when I sing. I will sometimes play movie soundtrack music in the background while writing. I find the music is designed to invoke an emotion so it can inspire me. For example, if I’m writing an action scene then the Indiana Jones theme song might be on.

5. What are you reading right now?

I’ve recently read two books that I’m excited about. Both are coming out in June and I was lucky enough to get a sneak peek. (There are some benefits to being a writer!) I just finished a book called The Party by Robyn Harding. It’s the story of a slumber party where something goes horribly wrong and how all members of the family unravel after the event. The other book is The Sisters Chase by Sarah Healy about two girls who are homeless after their mom’s death and how far the older sister will go to protect her younger sister. In both books there’s a mix of YA and adult perspectives and I found how the different ages viewed the situations really interesting. Plus they’re great reads!

eileen-cookEileen Cook is a multi-published author with her novels appearing in eight different languages. Her books have been optioned for film and TV. She spent most of her teen years wishing she were someone else or somewhere else, which is great training for a writer. Her newest book, With Malice, came out in June 2016 and was called “a creepy and satisfying thriller” by Entertainment Weekly. She’s an instructor/mentor with the Simon Fraser University Writer’s Studio Program.
You can read more about Eileen, her books, and the things that strike her as funny at Eileen lives in Vancouver with her husband and two very naughty dogs and no longer wishes to be anyone or anywhere else.

It’s a thrill-ride that ends in a crash. Get your copy here:

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