A Kick in the Arse

It is so easy to get stuck in a rut, isn’t it? We live our daily lives and one day passes, then another, and they march on in a seemingly infinite line without much change from day to day. But sometimes, just the littlest change can make a huge improvement in our outlook and mental well-being.

I don’t want to be a Pollyanna. I don’t want to play the Glad Game or always look on the bright side. I usually wish to shoot people like that. But let me tell you about the change we made at our house last week and the difference it has made for me.

We bought a new couch. I know you’re thinking, “Whoop-de-doo.” But no, really, it has lifted me out of my rut. Let me back up a bit and explain.

When we first moved in together ten years ago, Kosta and I bought a couch. It was from a cheapy furniture store and the couch stayed intact for about a year before the frame started breaking down. My Dad, bless him, tried to shore it up and found the damn thing had been put together not with wood screws but with staples. But we didn’t have the money to drop on a new, well-made couch, so we just sucked it up and lived with it. Broken. For ten years. We both said we would much rather have a trip to Europe than a new couch.

The couch slowly sagged into its spot. We stuck pillows under the cushions to bolster us but it became cranky and carnivorous. It would eat you ass first if you sat on it. It was an awful situation that was really at the center of our home lives. We sat on it every day and it made us sad and frustrated.

Last weekend I’d had enough. I told Kosta we were going couch shopping. We aren’t going on a big trip this year and living with this half-sofa was killing us. So we decided on a budget and went to the consignment shops. Naples has a lot of them and they are filled usually with pretty decent furniture.

We walked around downtown and popped into stores. There were some that were nice but too expensive, some that were the right price but not what we wanted. There were a couple that were okay, but I wasn’t going to plop down money for something that was just okay. Consignment shops turn over pretty fast, especially this time of year when the snowbirds all go back north for the summer. I knew if we waited the right couch for us would come along.

It was getting late and we had one store left. We walked inside and boom, there it was, just waiting for us. It was blue like the Aegean, it looked brand new, and it was within our budget. I was instantly smitten and Kosta seemed pleased with it too. Up to this point all the couches had been in neutral colors – beige, and white (who gets a white sofa, I ask you???) and an occasional gold. But this sofa sat like a glittering sapphire in a field of blah.

And then we found out they were having a sale and that everything in the store that day was half off. I had to sit down. Fortunately the sofa was extremely comfortable too. We didn’t have to think very hard about it.

True, we had to pay to have it moved (it’s a sofa bed and extremely heavy), but that was nominal, and when you get a sofa for HALF PRICE it doesn’t hurt so much. We bought it Saturday, hauled the tired old sofa to the curb Sunday night, and had the new one in place Monday afternoon.

It all worked so easily that I am still stunned by it. And grateful. Because that new sofa has transformed our living room. It has transformed us. We aren’t embarrassed by its presence. We can have people over again and sit on it without being consumed.  We love admiring it, sitting on it, and feeling happy that it is there.

And now that we have that in place we want to do more. We are looking for an area rug next. I am going to mosaic some lamps. A fire has been kindled by something so simple as a new piece of furniture. And if I had kept thinking, “We can’t afford a new sofa” this never would have happened.

Sometimes you have to give yourself a kick in the arse. It’s amazing where you can land.

Unexpected Events

Things have been great on vacation. We met up with our friends in Munich, and spent several days visiting Nuremberg, Würzburg, Bamberg, and Rothenberg ob der Tauber. We were treated to such views as this:

Nuremberg. Totally hideous, isn't it?

Nuremberg. Totally hideous, isn’t it?

We have had a wonderful time reconnecting with our friends Danielle and Sylvain, and we have discovered a few things about German culture.

  1. They like cash. I think I only used my credit card to pay for the hotel and the rental car. Cash everywhere else.
  2. Sparkling water is called Sprudelwasser.
  3. The Germans are crazy for pork and cabbage:

    That's a lot of sauerkraut.

    That’s a lot of sauerkraut.

Seriously. I ate so much pork I thought I was going to sprout a curly tail. Pork at every meal. Cabbage hiding under the lettuce of your salad and of course the ubiquitous sauerkraut. We went to the grocery store and they had an entire Wall O’ Pork. They are totally serious about their pig food products.

We are now comfortably ensconced in our friends’ old stone farmhouse in Western France. And it was good to be surrounded by friends because the totally unexpected happened.

The other day I got a text from my Mom saying Dad had been having chest pains. They went to the ER, ran some tests, and the upshot was Dad had to have triple bypass surgery. It happened today and went extremely well. He is in recovery and all signs point to a good recovery. But the fact that I wasn’t with my mother to sit there and hold her hand while her husband of 46 years had open heart surgery left me a quivering mess.

But my wonderful friend Danielle helped me through with Reiki. If you don’t know what Reiki is, I invite you to read about it here. Basically, it is healing energy from the Divine that a practitioner can channel into another being: human, animal or plant. I’ve been a practitioner for several years now and Danielle is the Reiki Master who has taught me. Together we created a flow of Reiki that was sent directly to my father, thousands of miles away. It was proactive and left me feeling more in control of my emotions and hopeful of a positive outcome. I held it together.

Dad will probably be in the hospital for five or six days. Kosta and I debated over what to do. In the end, (mostly because we can’t afford to change our plane tickets) we are going to continue with our vacation. Trust me when I say it was not an easy decision to make. Most of me is longing to be home with my family. Everyone seems to be coping reasonably well. Mom has been so brave and capable and I am proud of her for surviving an extremely difficult situation.

The last couple of days have been rough, for sure. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much on a vacation before. But Dad has survived his ordeal, Mom is coping with hers, and Kosta and I will deal with ours.

Perplexed and a little frightened...

Perplexed and a little frightened…

 

 

What I Did for Love

This story starts way back here:

Mom and me at about 4 years old

Mom and me at about 4 years old

My mom and I have had a very close relationship for my whole life, and I know how lucky I am in this. She and I have been good friends for as long as I can remember. My Mom is one of the sweetest ladies on this earth (besides her mother). Don’t get me wrong, she can be salty and curse if the need warrants. But to me she is soft, loving, and a super cuddler.

Mom has had some health problems in the past few years that has left her unable to drive, walk very far, and otherwise do a lot of stuff she used to do herself. But she keeps on going, a tough woman for sure–especially after all she’s had to endure.

Barry Manilow

Barry Manilow

When I was young (still in a car seat) Mom took me everywhere with her–shopping, to see my cousins, and to preschool. And all the time I was strapped into that car seat I was listening to the tapes she played of her favorite music. This was the late 70s folks, and that includes Billy Joel, Rita Coolidge, Crystal Gayle, and her all-time favorite: Barry Manilow.

As a teenager I got into heavy metal and hard rock and shunned and teased my mother for her musical tastes. (What can I say? Sometimes teenagers can be assholes.) As I grew up I didn’t bug her about it so much but I never saw the attraction.

Fast forward to this Christmas this year. I heard Barry was coming to town on his final tour. The man is 72 after all.  And as easy it would have been to buy my mom “stuff” for Christmas, I think you can imagine where this is headed. I opted to give my mom the experience of one final Barry Manilow concert. With me.

barry manilow one last timeShe was rendered speechless when she opened her gift. Not that my mother is a constant talker (I’m married to that) but it was wonderful to see her so excited.

The concert was this last Monday, February 1 at the Germain Arena in Estero. And if you think Barry Manilow isn’t popular, think again. They actually added a second show this Saturday to accommodate the call for tickets in the Southwest Florida area.

The traffic was a nightmare getting in. I certainly hadn’t anticipated the amount of cars once we got off the freeway. Usually it would take five minutes to get to Germain Arena but it took us nearly forty minutes that night. And there was no handicapped parking left, so I had to park out in the sticks. Mom can’t walk very far so we used her wheelchair, thank goodness. It was a hike into the venue.

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Let it go, let it go…

Our seats were great. We were up on the top right next to the box suites and had a terrific view of the stage. As we came in the opening act, Dave Koz was wailing on his saxophone. Playing “Let it Go,” I might add.

Waiting for the main event!

Waiting for the main event!

All right, so let me be the first to admit it. Barry Manilow puts on a pretty good show. I can’t believe the pipes on this guy, and his energy levels.

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It’s a miracle… A true blue spectacle.

Have you ever heard that your brain stores the memories of all the moments of your entire life? It’s your recall that isn’t quite as developed. Well let me tell you that all of those songs I was forced to listen to at a tender age came back to me. I was astonished to realize I knew almost all the words to all the songs. There were only a couple I didn’t know.

2016-02-01 21.43.34

I think the most amazing thing about Barry Manilow is his enthusiasm. He really REALLY loves performing and it shines through in each moment. And seeing Mom so happy made it very easy to sit through the concert and even (gasp!) enjoy it.

I’m not a convert, sorry. My musical tastes have not changed. But I can say that I can appreciate why so many people love this guy. He may write the songs that make the whole world sing, corny as some may think they are, but his appeal lies in his positivity, his love of what he does, and his lovely voice.

When my husband reads this he’ll think I’ve gone over to the dark side. But he didn’t get to see the look on my mom’s face when she clasped her hands and sang along to “Weekend in New England.” Sometimes we do things we don’t necessarily like to do for the ones we love. I surprised myself. I had a good time.

My mom did tell me that the concert tickets were the best Christmas present she’d ever received. I think that’s a win for all of us.  As far as I know, she’s still basking in the Maniglow.